Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano player
or, (Forgive me, I shot the piano player !)
How many relationships have we all burnt with others that never should have
been destroyed if we had only behaved with more understanding if we had only just thought
the matter through and discussed the situation openly with the person we had a conflict
with. I know I'm not alone when I say that I have made many mistakes with friends, lovers,
co-workers, family members and peers in my past relationships. I behaved in a manner that,
if I could go back and change the outcome, I would. But at that specific moment in time,
it seemed like the instinctual way to react or behave. I did not consider the consequences
of my knee-jerk reactions, I just "reacted". My actions were directly related to
the "type" of person I was not the "type" of person I would like to
been at the time!
Why do we do stupid things, say dumb things, and react foolishly in front of
others? It's because we are humans born with all the talents and liabilities God installed
within us at birth. And as a gold/red male human-being, I can only ask for forgiveness
from the people I've hurt or offended in the past, and work hard to improve my weaknesses
and install permanent change for the future. I specifically researched and then wrote this
publication due to the breakdown of a valued relationship I had with a friend. I spent the
next 18 months attempting to find out who I was, who other people were, and how to
communicate and interact better with them. I knew this was the only way to improve the
quality of my life and that of others around me. Little did I know at that time, that
where hundreds of millions of persons just like me throughout the world, that also needed
the results of my homework.
Have you ever got emotional or loud when presenting your side of an argument
just to have the other person ask you not to raise your voice? The person yelling might
think their actions are perfectly normal while the other person seems to be witnessing an
event that actually frightens them. Who's representation of the event would you believe?
It all depends on your personality type. The more passive greens and the blues would take
one side, while the more powerful reds and gold's might see things another way. The gold's
and greens might want to "get to the point" when analyzing the argument from a
strictly business perspective, while the reds and blues might want to deal with the
emotional non-business side of the situation. Some argue that raising your voice is a good
way to let off steam. Others view this behavior as uncontrolled screaming and would tell
others that the other person was "out of control". As we will discover, there
are no right answers. If you wish to live together in harmony, there is only one solution,
that is one of understanding, forgiveness and compromise. Each person must understand why
the other person did, said, or behaved the way they did. It will surprise many of you when
you discover "who you really are" and who your friends, neighbors and co-workers
"really are" as explained herein. The person who you think you are right now,
might not be the person you find!
How do you deal with confrontation? Some people walk away from conflict part of
the public calls this weak, while others call it intelligent. Which one are you? We'll
learn more in a few more pages.
As human beings we are all going to make mistakes because that's what we do
best. We rarely attempt to understand other people we interact with all week. We expect
them to understand us and bend to our needs. We expect people to feel what we feel, when
and how we feel it and understand the world through our eyes. But since there are only
four initial personality characteristics to deal with, we can do a much better job
relating to others, without a lot of effort.
We are all made up of different personality
traits that govern our lives. These characteristics make us who we are. They drive us down
certain pathways of doing things the same way most all the time. Thus, thank god, we are
all predictable. It is this predictability that we need to tap into, and learn how to use
the technologies in this book so we can change our lives.